January 26, 2009

Will this ever end! How will I handle deployment!!!! I feel like it has been a hundred years since I saw him! Cameron went to Houston last weekend and I was soooo lonely. I drove 45 minutes to target and spent litterly 2 hours just walking around and only spent 15 dollars. I am in such a small town and have been so busy with work I don't have any friends here. Plus there's nobody I have met that I would want to hang out with except my family. My mom and granny went out of town so I couldn't play with them! I can't wait to move to base so we can cultivate friends with same interests and are in the same situations. Everybody asks me are you ok, or how are you holding up. Really I just am. I wake up and go about my day and go to sleep knowing tomorrow is one day closer. I have read a lot of military wife blogs and they haven't seen their husbands for months. One woman was saying, "its only 4 months until he comes home"! 4 months!!!! Then she writes that he has been gone 10 months already, so 4 more is nothing. Those are the kind of stories that make me grateful for a 6 week separation! Cameron is the light of my day. I feel like I have a little partner that shares his excitement, pride and low times when he misses his daddy. It keeps me strong for him. Caleb has sent him shirts and dog tags, postcards and military coins. He also gets to see pictures Caleb sends through text and of course they get to talk! I look at Cameron and can tell he's proud! Caleb looks good and sounds good. We have 15 more days until we see each other so I think he knows hes on the down slope of training. I have booked the hotel rooms for me and cam, my mom and my granny. We are all going to graduation. I'm still going up early so I can see him the night before ! I can't wait! I get butterflies in my tummy when I think about it!!!!

The Count Down Starts

I got a letter from the battalion commander the other day with graduation information! He graduates on the 11th of February. That means 22 days until we see him! I'm going up on the 1oth because he gets a pass for a few hours and my mom,granny and Cam are coming up to go to graduation the next day. I'm so excited! Instead of counting down days apart, I can count down days until I see him! He probably has about 6 days to spend with us before he has to report to AIT at Ft. Leonard Wood. We are hoping they let him come home for those few days. I guess we'll know more toward the end of training. Caleb sent Cameron a shirt and he loves it! He is so excited to see his dad! I told him he could wear the shirt to the graduation. He's REALLY wants his military ID. As soon as we can get in the system , we'll drive to San Antonio and get our IDs! Yesterday was a nice day. Me and Cameron went into Austin to get my mom a birthday present, then we ate at applebees. I love spending time with Cam, but it's hard for us not to miss Caleb since we always do things together as a family. Caleb is doing really good in training. He has already been given a leadership role and has been asked to mentor a soldier that was having a hard time. He said that he's taking this very serious because we are in a time of war and he wants serious soldiers around him! He told me that this guy freaked out and went to the mental hospital. The guy told the drill sargents that he would have taken out as many soldiers he could before killing himself when they went to the range!?!?! That's kinda of scary! I guess this is the way the Army weeds out the crazies. They are tired, they have to stand in formation for hours, they exercise and run all the time and I guess the weak can't handle it! I know I couldn't!!! 22 Days until I see my sweetie!!

18 Days!!

So, life is not easier. I miss him so much.... The cutest thing happened a couple of days ago. He only gets a couple hours of sleep a night so by the time he gets to call me, he's half asleep! It was about 10:14 and he had formation at 10:30. We were going to talk until he had to go out and then they got to come in and go to sleep! I was talking and I heard a cute little snore coming from the other end of the phone! I was already in bed so I layed there and listened to him sleep. At 10:28 I heard someone shout and Caleb wakes up and says, "ok baby I love you so much and I have to go..". When I told him the next day that he had fallen asleep for fifteen minutes, he had no idea he'd had a little cat nap. I never would have imagined something like listening to him sleep would be so special?!?

Army Wife's Creed

I found this today! Army Wife's Creed I am the wife of an American soldier. I am a supporter of the United States Army- An encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth. Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears, I will always act in ways that are credible to him, the military service and the nation he is sworn to guard. I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my husband and to the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage. I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart for our family and I will continue to instuct our children in the same manner. As a soldiers wife, I realize that I play a vital role in my husband's decision to become a member of a time-honored proffesion- that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom for which my country stands. No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything for pleasure, for profit or personal safety which will discrace my husband, his uniform or our country. I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier he can be. I am proud of my husband, my country and it's flag. I will fly the flag and always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and by generations of men and women that have served our country. I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom and the freedom of all American citizens- For I am the wife of an American Soldier.

10 Days In!

Whew! This is a crazy ride all ready. I'm ten days in and it feels like a month! My brother came to visit me and Cam. He stayed for two days and it was a good distraction but didn't help when I went to sleep and missed Caleb! Caleb left today for the WTC area. They have had him in a different part of the base. He will start the "real" training today. The last time I talked to him was about 1:00 today. He was outside waiting for the bus to pick them up. He Told me he didn't know what the phone privileges are when he starts. We've been really lucky to be able to talk, text and send pictures. He said if they don't let him call tonite it shouldn't be more than two or three days until we talk!!!! That's a long time when you don't have any clue if he's ok. I guess this is my "training" if he goes to Iraq and I can't talk to him everyday?!?! There are a couple of things driving me crazy about this so far. First he has NO privacy. Everywhere he goes he has to have his battle buddy and he lives in a room with 20 other guys. Half the time people are talking so loud I can't hear what he's saying and he cant tell me how he really feels because he's NEVER alone! Last night he called me at around 12:30am. I guess everybody was asleep because he sounded like him! It was nice. Second was his foot! He told me he had a blister on the back of his foot and as soon as they let him he would go to the PX and get some neosporin and bandages. THEN, he sends me a picture of his heel. I couldn't believe it! He basically had a hole in his heel and blisters all on the outside. I have never seen anything like it. i really don't see how he can possibly walk! He keeps saying "oh it will be fine, I'm just breaking in my boots and it will callous up.". It was really hard to not be able to help him. It sucked! I can't get it out of my head. I just keep thinking, has he been able to bandage it or what. I told him to go to the medic but he said that they wouldn't let him for a blister so he wasn't even going to ask. I guess it's that army mentality and he shouldn't look weak but it looks so bad I bet they would let him! Me and Cameron went on a walk and talked about how much he was missing Caleb. We were watching TV the other night and a Army commercial came on. He asked if that's what daddy was doing. When I told him yes he said "awesome". I think he thinks it's cool his dads in the Army. I'm going to to take him to do something this weekend. Not sure what yet but something we can make into a whole day. I'm signing off and hope I get to talk to Caleb tonite.........

Day Four

Today we found out that Calebs AIT is longer than 4 weeks. The Go Army webpage says 8 weeks. There is a guy at WTC that has the same MOS and his says 13 weeks! I guess we will find out next week but I kanow its longer than we had hoped. The good part of that is Cameron will be able to finish out the school year here. I am sitting here at 10 pm and have not talked to Caleb since earlier today! He had a pass to go to the PX today. He said they have lots of shops also. I'll be excited to see what the bases look like. It sounds like it is kinda like a strip mall. He said they have a Game Stop and a GNC. I hope he can call me again tonight. We have been lucky to be able to talk and Im so glad because i'm sure there will be a time we won't.

Cameron comes home tommorow! Yeah! He starts school Monday so at least we will be kept busy. I'm not sure how this will affect him. He hasn'e bee away from Caleb for more than two weeks in the last 8 years!I'm sure he will miss him a lot. I hope tha Caleb keeps being able to ta;k to us during training. That should help Cam through all these months apart (me too!!!).

I keep busy with work and visiting my mom and granny. I am really lonely at night. Spending time with Cam at night will help a lot

Day Three

I just got off the phone with Caleb. Today was a hard day. I was really lonely. I think because I didn't get to talk to him all day. Today he got his shots, talked to finance, and got his blood drawn. On his chart there was a pink sticker that said HIV. He said he started sweating and thought that meant he had HIV!?! Someone else thought the same thing and asked what the pink sticker meant, it just meant they were testing for it! He said that they will be going to a different part of post on Jan.9. That's when training actually starts. They have been told that the drill sergeants are just waiting for them to run them through the mill. It's supposedly just as bad as basic but in a shorter amount of time. Luckily Caleb is in pretty good shape and other than being cold he will be ok. I'm really glad Cameron will be home Sunday. I miss him and it will be good to have him back in the house. It will put routine back in my life with school and work. I'm quiting work on the 16th. That should give me enough time to get ready to move, pack,clean all that stuff. I think once he gets out of AIT we may only have 10 days to get to the base. Im going to home school cameron for the rest of the year and get settled before finding a private school in the area. I can't wait to find out where we are going!

Day Two

Today is New Years Day. I spent new years eve working and missing my boys. I called Cameron last night but his phone was off!! He comes home Sunday and I am so happy. It to will be good to have our son home. Caleb arrived at Ft.Sill and did not get to sleep until last night(48hrs awake!). He got his

head shaved and got his id card. He finally called at 5:00 last night and sounded exhausted but seems to be in good spirits. That makes me happy. I got to call him at 10 seconds to midnite and we counted down the New Year together! I am so happy I get to talk to him! Today he called and said they had the day off but couldn't leave base!?! The drill sergeants are saying that they will probably be deployed in 90 days after graduation. I cant even think about that! Im just taking one day at a time! This year is going to be so crazy! All the changes! I cant wait to move and have my family start this new adventure. Im so proud of Caleb and so excited for Cameron to have this experience! My mom and granny have been so supportive. I will miss living near them so much. Im glad I have them while hes away in the beginning!